On taking a personal retreat

Orli G. Bahcall

I spent this holiday season in good company, as well as silence and the simple beauty and supportive environment of the IMS Forest Refuge. The Forest Refuge, located a short walk through the forest from the IMS Retreat Center, provides for personal retreats of at least a week, with some yogis having extended stays of months to a year or longer.  In this spacious yet intimate environment, yogis are each provided with single rooms, which are thoughtfully designed to allow room for both sitting and walking meditation. The schedule is simple and minimal, with two dharma talks and two teacher interviews offered each week.  Aside from these teacher-led activities, meals, and a period of mindful service (known as a yogi job), your time in this bell-free environment is free for your personal practice. 

In the months prior to my retreat, I went through doubts about whether I was ready or experienced enough in my practice and retreat life for this type of personal retreat.  I received encouragement from teachers, along with wide ranging advice that spanned ‘set a disciplined schedule and practice or it’s too easy to get lost there’ to ‘just go and sit and walk’.  I arrived at the Forest Refuge in the state I usually arrive at retreats, which is to say completely exhausted from trying to wrap up everything in my daily life, and eager to turn off my two blackberries and just collapse upon arrival.  While the phones were turned off, instead of collapsing, I found myself quickly overcome by the warmth, beauty, and stillness of the retreat center and staff. 

I was welcomed upon arrival by the Forest Refuge manager, who took me through a quick registration process, introduced me to the center and the schedule, and then ushered me into retreat space.  By the time I had walked through the office, the dining hall, and made my way to my room, all of the New York City lifestyle stress and tiredness felt melted away, and in it’s place emerged an unexpected and enduring energy and excitement. I marveled, and still do, over how well designed the center is to support our practice (and indeed, they have received architectural design awards), and over the simple beauty of the setting.  I gushed with gratitude for our teachers that founded and supported IMS through these years.  I also felt a rush of freedom from the minimal schedule.  I had become accustomed to moving quickly from a busy daily life, to a busy (or at least a fully structured) retreat life, where there is a fully planned daily schedule and guided practice.  Here, the open schedule allowed me space to find my own rhythm, and to explore what is supportive of my practice. 

I had several days before my first teacher interview, during which time the suggested practice was settling in with traditional vipassana.  I had prepared for my retreat by putting together several possible practice plans.  The first was to follow course modules I have been practicing with through this year as part of the Spirit Rock Mindfulness Yoga & Meditation Training program, and I came prepared with sets of daily reflections and practices.  The second was similar, but to follow study and practice modules of a year long dharma sutta studies course I had just completed with Andrew Olendzki of BCBS. My third proposed option was for a concentration retreat, following samatha or jhana practice.  This latter was new and largely unknown territory for me, but did capture my interest.  I was still debating between these options as I started retreat.  I discussed this at my first teacher interview, and with very gentle guidance, she suggested that I might try to let go of some of this planning and striving, and rest in the energy and support that I was already feeling, letting this guide my practice. I took this helpful advice, and tried to let each new day unfold naturally. In support of this, I also found helpful several dharma talks by resident teacher Sky Dawson, in which she reminded us why we might seek the silence and solitude of the Forest Refuge, and encouraging us not to limit our practice.  In letting go of my plans, I found myself in a retreat and practice that I could not have asked for.  I found this a place for playful exploration, and enjoyed experimenting with how to self-motivate, self-guide, and self-soothe.  I spent much of my retreat resting in awareness, appreciating the silence and stillness both externally and internally, and touching into the essence of metta, or lovingkindness. 

I spent some days largely in my own room, practicing with greater solitude, but still a lovely view into the forest.  On other days, I spent more time in the meditation hall, where I felt a distinctly strong supportive energy, and walking in the shared walking areas (including both open covered areas and enclosed rooms) or sitting in the comfy couch in the dining hall, where I felt warmth and community. I also made good use of the yoga/exercise room, which was well stocked with yoga props.  With large open windows looking directly into the forest, this provided a serene setting for my mindful yoga practice, and a particularly fun one for Tree Pose.

The Forest Refuge felt to me like a graduate school compared to the Retreat Center, where you can continue your studies after accumulating enough prerequisites, or retreat time, and where you can pursue your own independent study.  There is a supportive faculty, a limited but carefully selected library of dharma books and recorded talks, and often the company of other yogis on retreat who are experienced life long practitioners, visiting monastics, and well known and loved teachers.  However, I far prefer the comparison often given by yogis that the Forest Refuge is a brahmavihara, or heavenly abode. Here, I felt the Brahma-Viharas of metta (lovingkindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (sympathetic joy), and upekkha (equanimity), readily flowing and easily infused into my practice.

More information about the IMS Forest Refuge, teaching schedule, and application can be found here (http://www.dharma.org/ims/fr_general_i.html). 

**Have you attended a retreat recently?  We would love to hear about your retreat, in just as many or few words as you like.  Please send your retreat reviews to communityvoices@nyimc.org.