Integrating Equanimity

George Pitagorsky

Find a Middle Way

It is very difficult to master the balancing act that lets us live fully in the world while at the same time sitting at some distance from it, conscious and aware, in touch with unconditioned happiness. The middle way is between nihilism and eternalism. The challenge is to be in the world but not of it.

Equanimity comes when you are able to allow things to unfold.  With the experience of unconditioned happiness small distinctions become unimportant.  There is one taste.  In the extreme there is the sense that nothing matters—nihilism.

But the teachings add compassion, loving kindness and appreciative joy to the mix.  These imply action and relationship.

Choosing and Acting

How we act or choose not to act is a reflection of our sense of self in the relative world.  The absolute is there, but to deny the relative is not skillful. So in the relative world there is some choice—we choose the next action and we can envision a future situation and act to make it happen.  Alternatively, one could just behave in the moment as one feels is right and see what happens—no planning, doing or not doing, moment to moment. 

At baseline, of course, one must take care of basic survival needs; after that it’s all choices.  Some choose the renouncement route: go to the mountain, cave or forest glade to cultivate non-attachment and bathe in the joy of the present moment, undisturbed by material things.  Then there is the way of the Bodhisattvas—totally liberated but with compassion so great that they make a conscious choice to take a body to help liberate all beings.

Often we find ourselves somewhere between these, though perhaps with aspirations for the integration of both archetypes.

Motivation and Intention

Can you connect what you are doing to a worthy objective, to a positive value?  Can you use it as a meditation?  Are you engaged in loving, caring and accepting relationships?  What do you value?  How will your behavior affect the future—your future and the future of those around you?

Yes, the future is an illusion, but it is a pretty strong one.  On a day to day, relative, practical level, we will experience the next moment of the process we are in.  We will experience the moment after that, and infinite moments going forward. 

We know intuitively that what we do influences the way things go forward.  Sometimes the influence is profound, other times subtle or ineffectual.  And there is no guarantee that any outcome you dream up will come about materially.

A way of looking at it is that it’s all just a movie and you are the writer, director, lead actor, critic and audience.  As a director do you want a good movie or a crappy one?
It all becomes a lovely game of optimizing your life: accepting everything as it is, changing the things you can, and knowing the difference; acting with the most skillful intentions.  But, most of all, coming from that place of peace that is there after the boat disintegrates.  Coming from that place, you will be shining example for others and continue to grow happily. 

Take joy in the positive; make use of the negative to cultivate equanimity and openness. Rest blissfully in the fullness of the moment, active, pliant, focused, unattached, compassionately engaged.